Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Four Yearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 740
    Class/Type: Rant/Serious
    Total Views: 466
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5133



    Description:
       I donno.. I hate how it came out.. but Its about my life.. can't deny that... as much as I want to


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFour Yearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart withered up and died that day over two years ago
    When we went our separate ways
    Never has a day or a night passed me by without at the very least a thought of you
    Almost 4 years of my young adult life I spent with you

    We had seen our share of heartache
    I allowed you into my world, that of my childhood
    A world that was full of lies, of deceit, and most of all betrayal
    Sexual abuse at the hands of my step-father and neglect from my mother was only the tip of the ice burg

    You were the man by my side threw all the nightmares, and all the night terrors
    You held me as I put him where he so rightfully belonged
    As you wiped my tears

    However, we had yet to see the worst, little did we know;
    Our recreational use of narcotics became a full fledge opiates addiction
    Before we knew it both of us were heroin addicts
    Our addiction lasted that of two years, two years too many
    Throughout those two years we too became bitter, angry, deceitful people
    Toward one another and others we cared for.

    Although my body was speaking to us both…
    Showing us signs that we cannot continue down this path... We still did for quite some time
    My breathing would become shallow; my eyes would roll far back into my head;
    I would continually turn a darker shade of purple.
    Constantly over dosing yet somehow I came out each and every time with no obvious brain damage

    Soon the inevitable happened…
    The night marked a year anniversary since I put my step-father and abuser in prison
    I grabbed the 12 gauge shot gun and place it on my lap
    For almost an hour I relieved the events of my ridicules life as I played with the safety
    Finally I decided if I am meant to die (which I had hoped) then it will happen
    If I am not meant to die, then it will not
    A loud blast I am momentarily deaf
    You run to me, confused and unaware of what I have done.
    I see your mouth moving, however I cannot hear you
    Soon I slump down to the floor
    My hearing is back, you are crying out WHY? WHY?
    Telling me how much you love me, begging me to hold on the medics are on their way.
    I make it out of my suicide attempt relatively unharmed considering

    We find ourselves in Colorado and also soon to be end of our long journey together
    Ultimately, after three months in Colorado I choose to leave and I ended up leaving without you
    I left the one and only man who ever loved me for me thousands of miles away from our home state Ohio.
    I gave you my heart, which has always been with you.

    I was going back to the unknown-
    I had nothing of value-
    I only owned the few outfits that were shoved violently into my suitcase
    I was about to walk my own path,
    In my own way,
    And on my own

    I had no idea the extent of my challenges I soon faced
    of recovery,
    of acceptance for the kind of childhood I had to endure,
    acceptance for my soiled suicide attempt,
    Most of all acceptance that once an addict always an addict
    Now I fight to stay away from my depression which led to me that almost fateful night
    I fight with everything I have to not just walk away from it all and go back
    Go back, to that cloud nine I was on for essentially two years of my young life
    I battle to stay me and believe I have valuable attributes
    Not all men are like that of my step-father

    I just am constantly… Fighting for my life… And meaning of this life




    Submitted on 2012-04-25 15:38:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194988

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry