[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My momentdots

    Author: Joybell
    ASL Info:    22/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 101/94/56
    Words: 429
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 603
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2328


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy momentdots

    “What am I going to tell my daughters?”
    “When they ask me how daddy purposed what am I going to say??!!”
    This thought ran through my head as you went to purpose.
    This was not the moment, this was not how it was supposed to play out…this was not what I had written…in my head.

    I wanted to have a beautiful story to tell my children, even though I didn’t want kids.
    Rational? Maybe not, but I was so certain at the time.

    Then one day I realized, through the whole dating – engagement – buying a house together – planning the wedding-bridal showers, I had not once felt truly happy about any of them, I had not once had the surge of excitement, they were all just “Ok” or “ran smoothly”.

    I was sabotaging myself, it wasn’t that I wanted some beautiful story that I could share and things were turning out horrid.
    It was that I had a beautiful story already made up in my head and things were not following my premade script.

    It did not come all at once, no, it was still something I fought against, but the thing was, everything was perfect. My man, , my bridal showers, the house we bought, the wedding plans, they were full of happiness and love, but I couldn’t see that because I was focusing on how far they strayed from a story I had written in my head with every Disney movie I watched as a child.

    When I saw this clearly, I was able to let go, to let go of the story, to let go of my preconceived notions, to relax into life and love and not rush through moments. To just enjoy them for what they were, part of a beautiful tapestry that was my life, my love story, my future and my right now.

    I felt like I had been living the past few years like the little boy with the magical string, when a moment was happening that wasn’t like I had “planned” I would rush through it, almost going on auto pilot and trying to make sure that as the moment was happening, I would not remember it.
    How much of my life had I glossed over to not feel the moment that didn’t live up to my standards?
    How much beauty and magic and peace and love had I missed because I was comparing everything…to something that wasn’t even real?

    No more, because this moment, IS my life.

    Submitted on 2012-05-10 10:37:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great epiphany for a sixteen year old to realize, although I feel like the disney movie mention kind of hammers home how cliché this piece really is. There are also a few mistakes throughout, like "purposed" in the second line. I thought I was getting into a cool Sci-Fi read... to be honest. You don't purpose to somebody, you propose.

    Aside from that, your prose isn't stellar but it isn't horrible either.
    | Posted on 2012-05-12 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]