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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Ugly And Yet So Beautiful Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 75/182/209
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 805
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 797



    Description:
       Something I've been trying to work on for a while, this is a revision ( not completed by any means ) tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Ugly And Yet So Beautiful Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The bond of humanity has fractured numerous times,
    So weak are these ties that bind,
    one hand; the other.
    The duality of what it truly means to exist,
    being; becoming.
    A righteous decent into humility,
    Our empathetic soul,
    tired and hungry (malnourished)
    Moving towards the end in search of sense,
    of our creator-
    The great unmoved mover, we beg for catharsis,
    something to validate who we are-
    A purposed purpose to reason.
    We await that whisper-
    In pandemonium- lead and fire.
    In tranquility- warming winds and mysterious dreams.
    In the fleeting heart of the ocean wide-
    We journey through the perils of our life,
    passing for a moment, listening for the changing tides.




    Submitted on 2012-05-11 11:54:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      While it is true that human history reveals many of the ugly aspects of our nature, yet there is that thread of hopefulness that keeps our aspect salient and virile. I just thought Id let you know I ascribe to your philosophical tenants as professed. I also enjoyed the way you presented them (your style). Definitely a pleasant reaffirmation of the human spirits tenacity.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2013-08-04 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, we listen for changing tides...but humanity just keeps losing sight of what matters...and it just keeps going downhill...we get more violent and less caring...there is no one to give rest to the weary or to feed the hungry...

    and often we wonder...why would the creator make us to be this way.

    next to last line i would leave out "our" before "lives" ---unnecessary...and also the "malnourished" in parentheses---don't feel the need for that...it is redundant.

    really like the "being; becoming"

    and it begs the question...what exactly are we becoming?

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-05-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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