Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a certain kind of sadnessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Outlaw
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 510/413/195
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1009
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 877



    Description:
       I'd like a better title. Yes?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa certain kind of sadnessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    resignation, a certain kind of sadness:
    the vacuum of air filling the space
    between a tear and the cheek
    now asunder, or the parting of skin
    as it is rent. an immobility that is heavier
    than weight, a certain kind of eternal
    regret (eternally regressing) that drags
    on and on until at last the tear splashes.
    yet deeper the fall is felt, the shock of realization
    smashing against neurons, echoing throughout
    the layout of the roots which define the route
    by which pain returns to your brain.
    the littlest squelching of hope in darkness,
    a darkness absorbed in all kinds of lights
    even the hues of non-visible colours...
    a stain that's been wiped, cleaned
    and still stays, unwilling to leave.
    finally the heart pounds its way
    through this mess...




    Submitted on 2012-05-18 23:09:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was powerful for me. Even in the depths of unfathomable pain, there is still the science of it all ... the slo-mo descent of a teardrop as it runs down a cheek, the firing of neurons as a message of pain is spread throughout the body. I have the vision of the path of pain being well-worn, like the high traffic areas of a carpet.

    I don't believe this poem speaks about a general sadness. This is a more mature, worn out, worldly sadness. It's a sadness that comes from knowing about the way things are, and also knowing which of them can change. I also sense the speaker in the poem has some deep regrets, and he is almost pacing out the penance, in a way, walking that pain trail over and over, back and forth.

    We are unable to travel in time. And all we have is now. The heart does keep beating. Certain things are absolute, and nature is one of them. It does not care if you were not done, or if you left dinner cooking in the oven.

    Picture was great too.
    | Posted on 2016-04-27 00:00:00 | by BlankSheet | [ Reply to This ]
      Finally the heart pounds it's way through this mess..

    Yes, no matter how much pain and sadness comes with resignation the heart refuses roll over and die. You might want to, yet life goes on regardless. I can actually feel that pounding. The one that's more in your throat and puts you on the edge of dry heaving. That flutter mixed with a heavy pounding against your chest that makes it hurt to breathe..

    I love the picture with this as well. Sometimes all one can do is walk away whether they want to or not. As far as a title, I actually like your first line... A Certain Kind Of Sadness.
    | Posted on 2012-09-14 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      Many people have attempted to write out emotions. The fascinating thing about emotions is you cannot teach them. You may explain them and tell people how they should feel at a moment (almost like the etiquette of emotions) but you cannot truly teach emotions.

    I couldn't teach you to love, more so than you could teach me to hate. For hate is born emotion. Anger, regret, sadness...each powerful in itself yet usually coupled with underlying items.

    I like how instead of railing at the word, and describing each pitfall that has produced the tear, you go about and explain its route.

    This almost can be viewed clinically, to take oneself from the actions of a descending tear drop, away from the origin of pain...and yet without back ground information you can still feel the underlying poignant emotion.

    It's a cycle isn't it. Sadness, "What ifs", helplessness...all if it stems thru to one point. that in the end you move on. Though the journey costs portions of ones soul and sanity, in the end

    "Finally the heart pounds its way
    Through this mess... "

    What I've noticed though is that you haven't mentioned how this could be a happy ending. Only that despite it all the heart still persists to beat. It's almost like the day my world stretched to [unbearability], my heart still beat, my lungs still filled, my eyes still blinked. Time never once stood still so that I could encompass it all and try to make sense of a tangled mess. It just moved on.

    This poem brings all that to mind :) I hope I didn't over analyze it, but even so you've brought to my attention thoughts that many of us share.
    | Posted on 2012-07-16 00:00:00 | by ARoseyTint | [ Reply to This ]
      a tender kiss on the cheek
    and still the mollified refuse to speak
    an "almost now" moment that never was
    the eternal answer to "why" - because...
    | Posted on 2012-05-24 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Very solid piece here on something that often eludes explanation or understanding. That it ends with a minor note of optimism is quite laudable.
    | Posted on 2012-05-20 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i really got absorbed in this piece. felt the pain that caused the tear, and felt like i was the tear sliding down the cheek.

    "Reservoir of Regret" comes to mind as a possible title...

    yes, often the past is a stain that will not go away...and we can't "shout" it out, no matter how loud the words we write, trying to erase the pain.

    i like the picture...the walking away...but not away from the pain, more like walking with it.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-05-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195161

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry