I find myself sitting on the porch
While the sun begins to set as it reflects
A multi-colored deep orange glow
Lighting up the beautiful life, which you planted
An overflowing colorful painting before me
I reach out to run my fingers along the beauty
But I can not touch this sacred creation
Only look and admire the graceful life given
Although, I must confess I am ungrateful at times
I yearn for the days when you and I were here
Underneath the crystal light sun, surrounded
By the green, yellow, and pink shades of flowers
And I smiled as you lifted me upon your shoulders
I thought you did it just for me to feel the excitement
But now I think it was so that I may be closer to the sun
Making sure your little girl would grow big and strong, to live on
I don't think "reflects" is the right word in line 2. I'm not sure about "crystal light sun", but other than that I really like this piece. I love the line "But now I think it was so that I may be closer to the sun" This is a sweet piece. I like Planted Memory as a title, but it doesn't fit the tone of the piece I don't think. But I tried. You have me thinking of my Dad now :)
I really enjoyed the very subtle ryhme scheme here. Not at all a strict pattern but still there enough to let you know that this is poetry. Not free-verse off the top of head poetry but, clever calculated poetry with purpose and a defining point.
On another note...
I have seen your dad mentioned in past works as well. I'm not pretending to know how you feel but I know its awefull hard when someone is gone with that kind of finality. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss, even though I know that doesn't mean anything. What a bummer.
Anyway I owe you a couple typo corrections because your always helping me out with that, but for the life of me I see none here...damn your perfect spelling as s
I really like the colors you brought in. they add to your beautiful imagery. great poem. wouldn't change a thing. about the title. well, I found Memory Untitled quite interesting (that's the reason why I read it). I would say keep it. but that's up to you.