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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Ugly And Yet So Beautiful World ( Not Finish)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 75/182/217
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 692
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1286



    Description:
       Not finished, but I'll take ideas or CC


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Ugly And Yet So Beautiful World ( Not Finish)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The bond of humanity has fractured numerous times,
    So weak are these ties that bind,
    one hand; the other.
    The duality of what it truly means to exist,
    being; becoming.
    A righteous decent into humility,
    Our empathetic soul,
    tired and malnourished
    Moving towards the end in search of sense,
    of our creator-
    The great unmoved mover, we beg for catharsis,
    something to validate who we are-
    A purposed purpose to reason.
    We await that whisper-
    In pandemonium- lead and fire.
    In tranquility- warming winds and mysterious dreams.
    In the fleeting heart of the ocean wide-
    We journey through the perils of life,
    passing for a moment, listening for the change in tides.

    The sanctuary of the mind is a paradigm,
    built on the truth telling lies,
    finality; fatality.
    The elements of what make us; being mankind.
    Evolution; divine intervention.
    Destiny is in the roads and sands- A slipstream-
    alluding ability- be who you wish to be; know thyself- see,
    Socratic in theory; Nietzsche in delivery-
    Pointless it seems to believe,
    no sacrifice can stitch or renew the minds insatiable greed.




    Submitted on 2012-05-21 22:25:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm, well I'd have to say it's definately interesting. I feel the emotion in it and see your point of view. I believe it's important to offer up different perspectives. I, especially, am fond of the respect shown... You state your point but aren't distasteful or rude in any way. In honesty I find that to be rare these days.
    | Posted on 2012-05-24 00:00:00 | by Victoria | [ Reply to This ]
      as an overall version, i like the first version better...leaves more to the imagination...but i am a firm believer in less is more.

    as for this piece in itself...i see two separate poems here.
    one piece about humanity and some kind of coming together...

    the other stanza is a poem about the philosophy of truth and being...i like the "mind's insatiable greed"

    sounds like a bad thing in an offhanded way...but when we really think about it...a greedy mind wants to learn as much as it can...ponder what there is...and think of what there isn't and try to make it so...

    i like this as two poems rather than one..

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-05-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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