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    dots Submission Name: In Waitdots

    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 139/254/170
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1296
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 564


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    dotsIn Waitdots

    My midnight poetry cried ‘Wolf!’ and hid under the bed,
    And tugged at dusty carpet in a heartbreak.
    Don’t want to wake up to the premonition
    Of heavy souls that can’t squeeze to a tea can,
    My own tired jinnee who has gotten out
    And gotten poisoned by its freedom:
    The tender scents of lilac lit up
    Too many humming birds, and their
    Incessant buzzing drove into the ground
    An epileptic fit of madness, stuttered,
    And I collapsed, exhaling
    The smoking metal of an emptied barrel.

    Submitted on 2012-05-28 18:13:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This has a hard kind of feeling to it, even with the hummingbirds which would normally be "light". Perhaps the wolf and genie are such strong images, if jinnee who has gotten out (of the bottle) means that. Kind of trippy with a surprise ending, a little hard to read but worth while for the feelings.
    | Posted on 2012-06-01 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i like all the different allusions to writer's block...at least that is what i see here...

    "emptied barrels"

    inspiration hiding under the bed..."dusty carpet" ideas not walking there...no footprints of themes...

    the buzzing, the fit of madness...everything trying to get out...but it is muddled in my head...driving me crazy...maybe too many thoughts at once...

    flying in place with wings burning up.

    | Posted on 2012-05-29 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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