Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fabric version 2dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 729
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 712



    Description:
       this is the final version.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFabric version 2dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You left a hole
    In the fabric of my life

    Just below the heart
    Your claws caught hold

    Now my hands tremble
    As I try to write this patch

    To keep everything
    From unraveling

    Did I trust too soon?
    Did I do something wrong?

    I just dont know

    So here I sit
    Trying to weave

    A new pattern

    something to endure
    The test of time

    You left a hole
    In the fabric of my life

    Just below the heart
    Your claws caught hold

    Now my hands are trembling

    Pray ill never be
    So naive again




    Submitted on 2012-06-02 13:38:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "write this patch"
    man, i like that line bunches...

    this concept works well...very nice metaphor for heartbreak...and the empty space we are left with afterward.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-06-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Naivety can be a good thing showing that we are still unharmed enough to be believing people will be good. I know it might seem counter intuitive, considering, but I feel it's a good thing to be able to give. I hope that lacuna in your life heals still leaving you with a modicum of your innocence intact.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2012-06-02 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195271

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Bond written by saartha
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    To written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    In the end written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry