[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Fabric version 2dots

    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 696
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 712

       this is the final version.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFabric version 2dots

    You left a hole
    In the fabric of my life

    Just below the heart
    Your claws caught hold

    Now my hands tremble
    As I try to write this patch

    To keep everything
    From unraveling

    Did I trust too soon?
    Did I do something wrong?

    I just dont know

    So here I sit
    Trying to weave

    A new pattern

    something to endure
    The test of time

    You left a hole
    In the fabric of my life

    Just below the heart
    Your claws caught hold

    Now my hands are trembling

    Pray ill never be
    So naive again

    Submitted on 2012-06-02 13:38:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "write this patch"
    man, i like that line bunches...

    this concept works well...very nice metaphor for heartbreak...and the empty space we are left with afterward.

    | Posted on 2012-06-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Naivety can be a good thing showing that we are still unharmed enough to be believing people will be good. I know it might seem counter intuitive, considering, but I feel it's a good thing to be able to give. I hope that lacuna in your life heals still leaving you with a modicum of your innocence intact.

    | Posted on 2012-06-02 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Because of You written by poetotoe
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Fasade written by jackz
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Terms of Love written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]