Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Coquettrydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 136/243/154
    Words: 38
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 253



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoquettrydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The night is restless orange, where is my moon
    to cramp its meagre light into a sleepless page
    with scents, once stabbing,
    now expired,
    haunting
    even when dust is dust?
    I miss him.
    What a pathetic sight.




    Submitted on 2012-06-03 19:26:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this piece, it is resounding. I like that it's pretty dangerous to skirt the moon, i mean that's ground commonly trampled upon and used so poorly by the unwashed herd, but you have managed that exceptionally well with lines 3, 4, 5, 6,

    they kind of kill me and they remind me of a Pliny the younger quote I came across where he was describing the eruption of mount Vesuvius and the people were beseeching death to have mercy on them.

    That was death, this is life, but this is the kind of spot you have put me in.

    The last lines are so plain and are such a testament to that (without love, i am nothing) type of summation.


    I agree with the previous poster, you do get a bit swept up and feel like marrying that beautiful heart.

    This is as good a poem as I could hope to read, honest, i love it.
    | Posted on 2012-06-13 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty good. Will you marry me?
    | Posted on 2012-06-03 00:00:00 | by stellartotem | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195283

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Outlaw
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry