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Coquettry


Author: expiring_touch
ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 139 /260 /173
Words: 38
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1304
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 253



Description:




Coquettry



The night is restless orange, where is my moon
to cramp its meagre light into a sleepless page
with scents, once stabbing,
now expired,
haunting
even when dust is dust?
I miss him.
What a pathetic sight.




Submitted on 2012-06-03 19:26:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I like this piece, it is resounding. I like that it's pretty dangerous to skirt the moon, i mean that's ground commonly trampled upon and used so poorly by the unwashed herd, but you have managed that exceptionally well with lines 3, 4, 5, 6,

they kind of kill me and they remind me of a Pliny the younger quote I came across where he was describing the eruption of mount Vesuvius and the people were beseeching death to have mercy on them.

That was death, this is life, but this is the kind of spot you have put me in.

The last lines are so plain and are such a testament to that (without love, i am nothing) type of summation.


I agree with the previous poster, you do get a bit swept up and feel like marrying that beautiful heart.

This is as good a poem as I could hope to read, honest, i love it.
| Posted on 2012-06-13 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  Pretty good. Will you marry me?
| Posted on 2012-06-03 00:00:00 | by stellartotem | [ Reply to This ]


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