[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Pencildots

    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 639

       Sometimes life can be deceiving and the hate that one procreates can damage the soul and others, that's why I decide to do what I do best, draw and write poetry that's what the title refers to!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Pencildots

    In a cataclysmic world
    I found my deepest talent
    Like a hidden pearl,
    It picked up all my broken fragments
    When they were suddenly hurled.

    In a perfect society
    I arose from sinful men
    Like fallen pedals in variety,
    I emerged from horned stems.

    In my own mind
    I fought endless battles
    That seem to rewind,
    Back to the times of Aristotle.

    My hands crafted a similar
    Outline of my life into a stencil
    Not among many but singular,
    With the firm idea to take on the world
    With my own Pencil.

    Submitted on 2012-06-09 12:51:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The rhyming was pretty jaunty (musical) and I enjoyed it. You seemed to fray at the end though. Still I like how you incorperated the title to push it all together.

    I like also how you avoid using the "common" wording that most prefer. I'm suppose to head back to class in about ten minutes so I can't seem to give you the right amount of critique that you deserve. To make up for it I'll try and visit some other poems of yours.

    It made me imagin that I was on a slide. You reach the top and escalate down to the final daunting conclusion.

    Well done

    Ms. Tint

    (Please excuse my spelling)
    | Posted on 2012-08-07 00:00:00 | by ARoseyTint | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, i like this piece...

    i see a growing up in a tough neighborhood having to survive with fists...and then having an epiphany and realizing philosophy is better than pugilism...time to think with the mind rather than getting physical with the enemy...

    time to fight the battle with pencil...the pencil is mightier than the sword...just as the pen is.

    the transition in this poem is wonderful...finding oneself amidst chaos...

    writing out of the turmoil...finding peace.

    pencils break more easily than pens...so this pencil must be tough. and it is.

    | Posted on 2012-06-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]