[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Pencildots

    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 639

       Sometimes life can be deceiving and the hate that one procreates can damage the soul and others, that's why I decide to do what I do best, draw and write poetry that's what the title refers to!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Pencildots

    In a cataclysmic world
    I found my deepest talent
    Like a hidden pearl,
    It picked up all my broken fragments
    When they were suddenly hurled.

    In a perfect society
    I arose from sinful men
    Like fallen pedals in variety,
    I emerged from horned stems.

    In my own mind
    I fought endless battles
    That seem to rewind,
    Back to the times of Aristotle.

    My hands crafted a similar
    Outline of my life into a stencil
    Not among many but singular,
    With the firm idea to take on the world
    With my own Pencil.

    Submitted on 2012-06-09 12:51:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The rhyming was pretty jaunty (musical) and I enjoyed it. You seemed to fray at the end though. Still I like how you incorperated the title to push it all together.

    I like also how you avoid using the "common" wording that most prefer. I'm suppose to head back to class in about ten minutes so I can't seem to give you the right amount of critique that you deserve. To make up for it I'll try and visit some other poems of yours.

    It made me imagin that I was on a slide. You reach the top and escalate down to the final daunting conclusion.

    Well done

    Ms. Tint

    (Please excuse my spelling)
    | Posted on 2012-08-07 00:00:00 | by ARoseyTint | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, i like this piece...

    i see a growing up in a tough neighborhood having to survive with fists...and then having an epiphany and realizing philosophy is better than pugilism...time to think with the mind rather than getting physical with the enemy...

    time to fight the battle with pencil...the pencil is mightier than the sword...just as the pen is.

    the transition in this poem is wonderful...finding oneself amidst chaos...

    writing out of the turmoil...finding peace.

    pencils break more easily than pens...so this pencil must be tough. and it is.

    | Posted on 2012-06-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Cover written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]