Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Breathingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 24
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 165



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBreathingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What am I but a wicked fish
    A hook drawn tightly
    Through its solar plexus
    And even a more wicked thought
    To discontinue
    Breathing.




    Submitted on 2012-06-11 05:58:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the repetition of "wicked" here. I like how the giving up is seen as "wicked" rather than sad. It is an interesting idea.

    Jane
    | Posted on 2012-06-19 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this Yulia, it is dense and complete, so that if it were a rock you could just pick it up and wear it as a piece of jewelry.

    See 'Wishing Stone' for the type of accoutrement i mean.

    It's kind of harsh (this poem) but there is also softness about it, vulnerability and a precious sense, strength in completeness.

    good work you.
    | Posted on 2012-06-15 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195336

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    written by Daniel Barlow
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Fasade written by jackz
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry