Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Ponderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 404
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 719



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Ponderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    People are creatures of sin
    Of selfishness and deceit
    And though I try to be only good
    Darkness seems a friend I often greet

    These are not words of sadness
    Of depression, self loathing, and doubt
    They are the words of girl who is wondering
    What this life is really about

    By nature we are all evil
    Self preservation is a trait ingrained
    But as soon as we begin thinking
    We realize these traits mustn't be retained

    Why is our natural form something to be drained?
    If we are born broken then why do we try
    To live in this world
    Where each day we must lie?







    Submitted on 2012-06-12 22:37:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm. You have the "T" in TULIP down! Theological commentary aside...

    I actually like this. But only if it's the opening of a bigger piece. I want to see a developmental arc. You wallow in the mire but never imply you'll even attempt to stand up. I want to see that effort. That's where your humanity can really shine! So, you beleive we are all inherently bad. If that were all then enjoy the hedonism or end it all! But you don't think that's ALL we're about. If I'm right, then take me somewhere! Let me watch your transformation! Not in a "born again" sense, but more the "Prodigal son" sense. He literally found himself in the mud with the pigs. But rose! Show me that and you may have something to REALLy share!
    | Posted on 2012-06-13 00:00:00 | by _n3pt | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195345

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The World written by jjd
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Love written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Cover written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry