Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Ponderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 454
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 719



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Ponderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    People are creatures of sin
    Of selfishness and deceit
    And though I try to be only good
    Darkness seems a friend I often greet

    These are not words of sadness
    Of depression, self loathing, and doubt
    They are the words of girl who is wondering
    What this life is really about

    By nature we are all evil
    Self preservation is a trait ingrained
    But as soon as we begin thinking
    We realize these traits mustn't be retained

    Why is our natural form something to be drained?
    If we are born broken then why do we try
    To live in this world
    Where each day we must lie?







    Submitted on 2012-06-12 22:37:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm. You have the "T" in TULIP down! Theological commentary aside...

    I actually like this. But only if it's the opening of a bigger piece. I want to see a developmental arc. You wallow in the mire but never imply you'll even attempt to stand up. I want to see that effort. That's where your humanity can really shine! So, you beleive we are all inherently bad. If that were all then enjoy the hedonism or end it all! But you don't think that's ALL we're about. If I'm right, then take me somewhere! Let me watch your transformation! Not in a "born again" sense, but more the "Prodigal son" sense. He literally found himself in the mud with the pigs. But rose! Show me that and you may have something to REALLy share!
    | Posted on 2012-06-13 00:00:00 | by _n3pt | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195345

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    This written by Chelebel
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the end written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry