[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: PaPadots

    Author: _n3pt
    Elite Ratio:    4.68 - 156/107/13
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 449
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1215

       I've always felt the script format to seem poetic (or could be). I've been toying with it for some time now, capturing conversations and moments in life. Let me know what you think. I hope it pushes the medium.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Asher, 7
    Me, beyond 7

    The child is engaged in an act of building block construction

    I am engaged in an act of survival, dodging traffic, keeping us alive

    ASHER: Terrorists blew up the 2 towers.
    ME: Yup. That was really sad.
    ASHER: Are there still terrorists?
    ME: Unfortunately, but we have highly trained soldiers fighting a war trying to stop them.
    ASHER: Did you ever fight in a war?
    ME: No, but my grandfather fought in World War 2.
    ASHER: Did he fight terrorists?
    ME: He fought Nazis. Which are kinda like terrorists only worse. And better dressed.
    ASHER: What was his name?
    ME: I called him "PaPa."
    ASHER: No, what was his REAL name?

    I started to cry.
    I hadn't thought about my grandfather for a long (too long) time.
    And here was my son asking about a man he never knew.

    ASHER: What's wrong?
    ME: Nothing. His name was Carlis. And he was a great and brave man.
    ASHER: That's right. I've heard his name before.

    The conversation then turned to Lego's and video games.

    Submitted on 2012-06-13 10:45:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    | Posted on 2012-06-16 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Records I written by Raphael
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Shi written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]