Past loves do melt away like ghosts, yet come back to haunt us at the most inopportune times. Your white moth symbology worked perfectly here to create a mood...
Nitpicky hat on: The language you use here is sparse and clipped in syntax, overall. The only part where it didn't fit was "then become soft-skinned again" - would omitting this completely make this tighter without losing the essence and mood? Just a thought.
this piece sums up my feelings at this present time.
for the last 8 months i have worked above and beyond the call of duty and for pretty much nothing. last week i started a new job.
people asked me if i was sad to have left my old workplace. i am not sad. i am not sad because it is not the place i loved working anymore. the people i love who still work there i will always keep in touch with but there is no sadness in leaving them because i know i will see them. but the place.. it is not what it was when i loved working there... its a completely different place... one i do not recognize... one i will never miss.
i appreciate that i can put myself into this piece in my own context. i like it when writers allow enough room for the reader to absorb themselves into the subject matter kinda like osmosis..
i miss you walking as the person i knew before, the "crunch" the recognizable sound...now when you walk i don't recognize you...and i don't miss this new you...it's a different sound.
but i also see "crunch" as love snapped in a way...and my emotions and heart snapped by what you did to me.
there is a softness, a peacefulness presented by this piece that is shattered by disillusion and disappointment...the ghosts that could be comforting spirits exist early in the piece and then turn scary, and i want to turn away from them.
my only suggestion would be in the first stanza....changing "circling" to "circle" might be stronger...and keep a parallel feeling to the action in the second stanza.
but wow...you had me right in the middle of this forest and i could see my breath in the coldness that was created by the other person to whom the speaker seems to be referring.
You have inspired me to try to write again, seriously this touched so many parts of me I almost feel molested. Renewed my beliefs in the eternal human spirit, revisited the flamboyant fantasies of my youth, reminded me to enjoy the ephemeral exigence of corporeally preternatural. Thanks so much, that was great fun!!