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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Letter Good Byedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wretched_muse
    ASL Info:    20/f/OH
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 182/205/64
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1045



    Description:
       well this was a nother late-nighter for me at like 5am. it came this morrning after crying over the break up with my bf. but oh well. all i want is coments on the poem and how to make it better. and like always thanks for just taking the time to read it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Letter Good Byedots
    -------------------------------------------


    What am I doing!!?
    Are my thoughts,
    as I write this letter.
    With a heavy heart,
    the pain in me swells.
    With each word I put down,
    my hand becomes numb.
    But onward my pencil goes,
    with a mind unto its own.

    My eyes start to cloud.
    As my head starts to pound.
    Shacking are my hands,
    with every word I put down.
    But the letter is done,
    it is complete.
    All I do now,
    is sign it with a last...
    “I love you”
    For you to always keep.

    Falling are my tears now,
    as I start to weep
    What happened to us?
    I thought we were meant to be.
    But it’s down to this,
    the last of me that you’ll see.
    Lord I hope this letter doesn’t kill you,
    as it has done me.

    Crying late into the night.
    With my tears of sorrows.
    I let my feelings go.
    So depressed am I,
    just to have written a simple...
    “Good bye”




    Submitted on 2004-08-02 13:11:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i think this might actually give insight as to what went on behind my "Eyes of Apollo". either that you dig through my journal, you'll find out about my past and how things turned out for me with... her.
    congrats, you've found your way to my fav list.
    | Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by hybridmagnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... this is such a sad write... so raw... your feelings really came through in this write. and you know... it could be taken two ways this write... first i thought it was a suicide kinda goodbye but you know... just breaking up is a killer so yeah... this is very well written
    | Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem. I had to break up with my girlfriend Cecilia who I was going out with for eight years...since like the second grade, and it was the same way for me. It hurt sooo much when I broke up with her that I fell even more in love with her once I realized what good thing I had...but she was gone..Oh Well! I think the way you display this poem is great, it shows your raw emotions and that's always the way to get into someones heart. I Thank you for writing this poem, It reminded me of my [censored] son...¿
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...just wow. This is jampacked with hard hitting stuff. I have to say excellent job. The ONLY critique I have is that you read it over for a few typos, cause without them (as distractions) this piece would be even more solid. Excellent piece...very good, and not cliché' at all for a depressed piece...again I say...wow.
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]
      I...I dont know what to say to this. I almost started crying. The words you put into this were so simple but with much meaning behind them. There were a few typos but who doesn't have them. Good job.
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by ReiLuna | [ Reply to This ]



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