[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Remorsedots

    Author: metallichick786
    ASL Info:    32/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 78/85/52
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1469
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 498


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    There is no warming a frozen heart
    No turning back the hands of time
    My head lies hoplessly in my hands
    My eyes swollen with remorse

    I cannot shake the deeds I've done
    The crime's been commited
    And my sins mine solely to bear
    Self loathing fills my withered soul

    The walls seem closer each day
    Closing in my body, trapping me
    The devil sits on my shoulder
    He whispers that it's time

    Submitted on 2012-06-20 15:58:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Good to see a post by you Caitlyn!

    Your fine talent as a writer shows here, and your poem tells a lucid story and hints at possible consequences, but not certainty (which is good, leaving the reader to use his own imagination to extend the story).

    "There is no warming a frozen heart
    No turning back the hands of time"

    these are excellent opening lines....they alert the reader to the theme, and build anticipation....

    nice work, pretty lady!
    | Posted on 2012-06-25 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]