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    dots Submission Name: Cranberriesdots

    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 514
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 509


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    How tender are your lies, how perspicaciously
    They thread around my neck in knots, Iíll tie their
    Ends to ancient bridges to the recent cracks,
    And fall.

    Why, how the water glistens: an eyelash
    Of a newlywed, and how the stones
    Beneath are pained to promise differently,
    But donít.

    My talent lies behind the woods and spears
    Are pointed to my heartís each beat
    As it would beat itself into a blister
    To quit.

    Submitted on 2012-06-22 15:13:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like the paradox..."how tender are your lies"

    i will hang myself on them...

    like sheryl crow..."lie to me, i'll believe you"

    "pained to promise differently/ but don't"

    we expect truth and following through on promises...but that seems to happen less and less...
    i really like this poem so much...except for "perspicaciously"---i feel the word is really trippy...and draws much too much attention to itself...and interrupts the reading...i think just saying "how they thread around my neck in knots" would work great.

    just thoughts....good poem ...

    "as it would beat itself into a blister/ to stop?

    ah yes!!!!!!!!!

    | Posted on 2012-06-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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