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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scores of My Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/452
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 836



    Description:
       


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    dotsScores of My Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The summer seems to comes so fast,
    Reflecting hard,
    On all of the things that color my past.

    These years have come to rest,
    Reminding me all that I lost,
    And how hard I did my best...

    Here comes that rain,
    Taking my hopes and dreams,
    To leave me sulking deeply in my own pain.

    I'm getting old,
    And I have no clue of how to handle this...

    I'm getting tired,
    And have become to long a life I have missed..

    Drenched in my sorrow,
    I beg of a better tomorrow,
    So I can pick up from here,
    And not collect another hollow year..

    I'm getting old,
    And I have not lived what life intended to be,

    I'm scared,
    Of what becoming of me.




    Submitted on 2012-07-03 22:44:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      My only advice would be to separate the 'of waht becoming me' maybe by inserting a series of dots: 'Of what....becoming me' or by adding a comma: 'Of what, becoming me'.

    You seem to articulate thoughts that have roamed and tumbled in my mind far too long. What's the point and how long is this journey? I too feel so old. Every day I get closer to another day that will mark another year wasted. I hate the accountability of my years. As if by this time i should have accomplished something. I get older and more foolish. The mistakes of the past keep on repeating. Sorry going into my own rant.

    You have every right to feel old and to feel like you dont' want another hollow year but you have it in yourself to change all of that. Believe in the existentialist mantra. You are the one that dictates the course of your life. You are in charge of your successes and your failures. The accountability bit sucks which is why I don't wallow in it too much but still the possibility of being in charge can be empowering.


    Thanks for the awesome read. I know my little comment didn't help but you helped me by letting me know that I'm not the only one that feels this way. Best of luck.
    | Posted on 2012-07-11 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]
      Aside from your all too real troubling issues, this poem speaks of our universal hurdles that come to each person in life. We don't know why such things are but our choice is to accept each challenge, or fall helplessly on the path before us. At your age I never even thought that one day I would be approaching 60 years of age. Many of my friends and acquaintances never made it this far, if years is all we are counting. Each day I seem to ache a little more in my bones and joints, and yet I give thanks for the beauty that surrounds me, always more perfect than I am capable of imagining... I do not fear the death that all mortals must face some day, perhaps because I am in a state where I actually deny that "I" am mortal, only this ever aching body is.
    | Posted on 2012-07-09 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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