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    dots Submission Name: I close my eyesdots

    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1323

       I frankly have no intention to live as purpose is what defines a person and I seem to be living without it. My parents have made me lose something very important in life.....Life itself...Happiness-- my happiness and not theirs is what is of priority and I have thus made myself self sustainable permanently.....
    a few lines on that last thought

    Note: Maya is a dream woman aspect in reference...Magical and yet not true

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI close my eyesdots

    I close my eyes as I want to see what love means.....

    I watched my tear pass by, from my eyes and so did it.
    Even my tear longed for the other eye to cry.
    I watched my life pass by and so did it without a smile to spare.

    Oh, how I long for her to hold me and say you are mine,
    was a dream of my dream that never came true.

    So did my childish self kill itself with remorse.

    I watched myself open my eyes in the dark and so did I.
    Inadvertently searching for a light called hope.
    I watched myself cry to sleep and so did I, with not a tear to dry.

    Oh, how I long for her to hold my hand and say don't cry,
    was a hope of my dream that never came true.

    So did my age old self die with a lifeless plead.

    I await to watch myself close my eyes in the light called Nature.
    How cruel of her to keep me alive and watch me cry.
    I smile at her and say kill me now and she awaits to watch me die.

    Oh, how I long for her to be seen by my eyes,
    is a dream of my dream that will never come true.

    So did my body's dead soul wait itself in an endless battle.

    ....I await though to close my eyes

    Submitted on 2012-07-04 12:42:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is very honest and powerful. The magic about magic is, however, that it can become whatever you wish. Here's wishing you all the magic you can handle.
    | Posted on 2012-07-09 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      "even my tear longed for the other eye to cry"

    fantastic line...what's around it is honest and heartfelt..but i wish the rest was as strong as that line...

    something to really build around...it has such a freshness about it.

    | Posted on 2012-07-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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