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    dots Submission Name: Driftwooddots

    Author: pioneerheart
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 204/205/140
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 525
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1376

       It seemed like it could work...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Anticipation gave way to the inevitable reunion between two star-crossed lovers with sick sense.

    And, a comet burst too quickly in her bedroom,
    except a comet's flight has true beauty and Passion when it burns through the sky.

    So many times
    So many ways the truth wants me to hold and believe
    love that tricks and stirs to tears
    My heart and soul from you through years

    All the night fascinates the tempered two.
    Both playing leading roles hoping it never ends
    but, alas, time has never been our friend.
    If you believe in the Stone's line
    then, time is on our side
    Yes, it is

    Instead, begging for romance in a full, blue, lit night is not romantic

    kept wondering about the second bug's line
    "honey pie, you are making me crazy. I'm in love
    But I'm lazy..."
    Is that what it was?

    Or a tragic love song, once written about you.
    To figure you.
    It has always been my aim
    My mark is off

    Random, fleeting thoughts
    Are we like two titanics in the night?

    It's simple
    My love with you is driftwood
    Wet and aimless
    Lost at sea
    Wrecked and holy
    Once a tree

    Submitted on 2012-07-12 05:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Driftwood is amazing stuff. It's like something created by and then recreated by nature.
    Cool stuff.

    | Posted on 2012-10-15 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I kinda like it. Expecially this part: "It's simple My love with you is driftwood" Like Jacob said it still needs some polish though...
    | Posted on 2012-07-13 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

    once a tree, now blown apart by too hot passion, too quick emotions...star crossed love burnt out too soon...fleeting...

    physical without the emotional or mental...two titanics that should not have sailed...destined to meet and sink each other or sink together...

    i like the Beatle's reference... to "Honey Pie" from the White album..

    and the tie to the Titanic..."my position is frantic, i would cross the atlantic"

    Time was not on your side...for some reason or another. we tried again...but in the end all turned bad....as dylan wrote and sang..."blame it all on a simple twist of fate"---
    i like this...the rhythm is a bit on and off, and could use some smoothing out...but otherwise...this works in its imagery and trajectory.

    | Posted on 2012-07-12 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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