[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: For Michaeldots

    Author: WolfStar
    ASL Info:    26/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 119/130/46
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 415
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1363

       This is the first serious poem I've written in a long while. Thoughts appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor Michaeldots

    We walked alone so long a time,
    together on the lonely rock,
    parallel and never meeting,
    the crossing never come.
    Lives were passed and battles won;
    he learned to build on sifting sands
    and I to dance on cloud and stone alike;
    we glanced in recognition
    but never thought to touch.  

    And there upon a misty dawn
    I found a cliff that struck the sea
    in a place more north than north was known,
    and he the same as me.
    From that twin but separate height
    we looked upon the edge of earth,
    and thought of what came after loss
    as promise sounded on the rock.  

    We leapt as children trust the sky,
    as wise men know the wind.
    Blue-grey sea took us eagerly
    and forever flashed to stillness.
    His hand met mine in the silent dark;
    my lips found his amid the blue,
    warm strangers, at once familiar,
    entangled in the depths
    of desires old and young.  

    And in that expanse of endless sea
    were we borne from all we knew,
    free from those forgotten dooms;
    no east or south or burning west,
    neither cloud nor rock nor brutal sand,
    caught in delights which earth denied
    and we once met made one.

    Submitted on 2012-07-16 00:00:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      There are some great lines in here and to get here, truly emotional piece, I think its quite an excellent poem.

    "Promise sounded on a rock" I think is better. I love this line, it could be anything. For me, its those words never came accross to actions, promises that left us hanging. Well' just my thoughts.

    I like the pictures this one brought to me.
    Thanks for sharing,

    | Posted on 2012-09-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Records I written by Raphael
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    untitled written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]