Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: So Freedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 371
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1148



    Description:
       inspired by the awakening


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSo Freedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She twisted that indestructable, gold band around her
    Sacred finger, slipping it on and off, gazing at the majestic
    Ocean, so clean, so pure, so free.
    She wondered how much more of this
    She could take. Every second since she was conceived
    The people she once admired drill expectation
    She was senseless too. Her brain was beautiful,
    A slab of untouched gleaming marble until the
    Others came with their mallets and violently pounded
    Out what they wanted to see.
    Baffled at how someone cageless could
    Feel so trapped, she plunged into the liquid crystal
    And splashed childishly, beginning to swim
    Away from the life less land, her past youth.
    She swam farther and farther, laughing hysterically
    As for the first time, she felt unchained and light.
    When her apendages began begging for mercy she
    Succumbed to the grasp of the water
    She graciously lnvited it into her mouth, nose, and lungs
    She smiled as she sank lower and lower,
    Filling herself, becoming once again
    So clean, so pure,
    So free.




    Submitted on 2012-07-16 00:45:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195544

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Cover written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Fasade written by jackz
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Love written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    True Death written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry