Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Aurora(For the 70 and for the hundreds and for us)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: joeyalphabet
    ASL Info:    50/not likely/somewhere..
    Elite Ratio:    3.75 - 2212/2241/475
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 532
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 580



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAurora(For the 70 and for the hundreds and for us)dots
    -------------------------------------------




    They fell at the line where Bane exclaims
    “Behold, the instrument of your liberation!”

    Their screams drowned out
    “Why does he wear the mask?”

    They died at the line
    “I swore to them that I would protect you, and I haven't.”

    The wounded lay in pain, listening to
    “Why didn't you just kill me?”

    The blood ran down the stairs to
    “This city needs me.”

    They sobbed, shivered, and hugged each other to
    “What if he doesn't exist any more?”




    Submitted on 2012-07-21 10:21:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow, this is a heavy piece about such a tragedy...

    where is that superhero to stop tragedies like this...he or she has let us down...

    the city cannot sleep.

    i like the use of quotes...it was as if you wrote two poems in one....

    a narration...and then a guilted conscience...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-07-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195581

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fasade written by jackz
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry