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    dots Submission Name: Hungry Ghosts (for Dan)dots

    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    39/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 619/473/167
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 442
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 578

       c. by ruejacobs 7/22/2012

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHungry Ghosts (for Dan)dots

    How many sons must I swallow
    To reach absolute zero
    What I thought was a flame inside my heart
    Is only frostbite
    Disintegrating from within and holding the core of you in my mouth
    Cronos stone, and I may lay in torpor
    From this blood bitter pill
    Let me lie and donít wake me
    As I let you lie for years
    Let the shroud cover us in this bed
    Cobweb smooth as velvet sheets
    And donít make a sound, my darling.
    If no one stirs, we wonít wake hungry ghosts
    And nothing shall consume us

    Submitted on 2012-07-22 23:40:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this because the first two lines are sort of plain stated and not, they are kind of illuminant and I can see this dark landscape beyond which the orange orb of the sun is swallowed and it's sort of beautiful and (present) backed up a bit from the pain. All of those things

    Cronos stone and torpor deserve further investigation, and going back there's the eating of sons, so this is probably in and around the mythical, but for now, I just wanted to say these things - and

    that I enjoy the very precise syllabic quality of this and how each line turns a thought in to something else.

    is not

    a simple hurt. That's what it makes me think. Things that will not calculate presume to be ongoing. That is is the toughest place.

    Best to you.
    | Posted on 2012-07-23 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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