Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: and the pilot is a soul...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 326
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 532
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2176



    Description:
       about: the title is a quote from a random guru who i saw interviewed once. there is a part including from a famous incident where a plane and pilot disappeared right after this transmission and has never been found. for me this is about contemplating god and the human condition, to put it in the vaguest of terms.

    feedback: i'd like to know how this piece made you feel. please no spelling, grammar, or technical critiques. feedback from the heart, not the head.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsand the pilot is a soul...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    “and the pilot is a soul, covered by another bodily machine”


    and we scream in the dark
    aware it drips of vanity
    but still we cry
    mouths like open graves
    throats torn asunder
    like well-worn sails
    and we play the part so well
    but beg to be more than sunken ships

    and the words i speak are lies
    i am insecure
    and drowning in this mire

    and we stand like shadows
    spines twisted into bows
    feet long given way to roots
    just to steady our course
    faith like anchors
    and we sink
    hearts cold and heavy
    but souls lift and make such a jealous sun

    and the words I speak are lies
    i am insecure
    and drowning in this mire

    19:10:46 DSJ: Delta Sierra Juliet (open microphone for three seconds) It's just vanished.
    FS: Delta Sierra Juliet.
    19:11:00 DSJ: Melbourne, would you know what kind of aircraft I've got? Is it a military aircraft?
    FS: Delta Sierra Juliet, Confirm the - er ~ aircraft just vanished.
    DSJ: Say again.
    FS: Delta Sierra Juliet, is the aircraft still with you?
    DSJ: Delta Sierra Juliet; it's (open microphone for two seconds) now approaching from the south-west.
    FS: Delta Sierra Juliet
    19:11:50 DSJ: Delta Sierra Juliet, the engine is rough-idling. I've got it set at twenty three twenty-four and the thing is (coughing).
    FS: Delta Sierra Juliet, roger, what are your intentions?
    DSJ: My intentions are - ah - to go to King Island - ah - Melbourne. That strange aircraft is hovering on top of me again (open microphone for two seconds). It is hovering and (open microphone for one second) it's not an aircraft.
    FS: Delta Sierra Juliet.
    19:12:28 DSJ: Delta Sierra Juliet. Melbourne (open microphone for seventeen seconds).

    shut up in dirty bones
    holy ghost prison
    waited until god felt alone
    breathed in the atlantic
    unconditional love
    we turned to violence
    laid low a savior
    and we spin




    Submitted on 2012-07-25 11:55:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the song-like quality you have going on in this write.

    "And we stand like shadows
    Spines twisted into bows
    Feet long given way to roots"

    Perfect metaphor, one of my favorite lines.
    | Posted on 2012-07-26 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195599

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    You read free written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry