Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shown Me Betterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 783



    Description:
       August 1st 2012

    By Crysta Perak


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShown Me Betterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The things you had
    All of what made you
    All of them ignored
    until after

    Thereís no remorse
    till the days gone by
    thereís no remorse
    till the crow has fallen
    and has been confined

    The sad feeling
    hurting me a little
    letting me believe
    some more

    but what I see
    is the feather
    the black
    in deep blue

    black in blue
    deep in blue

    the days gone by
    all of it is in bliss
    the crow has fallen
    ní shown me better

    fallen critter
    mend my ways

    just for today
    mend my ways

    just for today
    in deep blue

    until after




    Submitted on 2012-08-01 14:17:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I read it three times because that's how good this was.. the short lines was put harmoniously together it makes me want to sing while reading this. I can feel the sorrow in this one and makes me want to contemplate on things.
    nice work


    jen
    | Posted on 2012-08-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      I can feel the depression just like it was coming straight in from the tropic of cancer and will soon be up to hurricane strength.
    Saying that I still do not know what is going on. Loved and left?
    Loved and death? Who cares right? Its all black going blue two of my favorite colors too. This poem reads like one of The devils jokes as in it can always be worse. Moreover just when you think the sun is peaking out the tornado hits. Rally is there an after? I wonder if there is only now.
    | Posted on 2012-08-05 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195638

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry