[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Weightless Perfectiondots

    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 377
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 820


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWeightless Perfectiondots

    The way he makes me feel, like a cloud, light and sweet
    Floating into the evening sky, above all the mundane
    Squabbles and pedestrian affairs. I drift through the night peacefully
    Among the stars and the beautiful moon, shining their light through
    My body as I soak up all its secret powers and lift higher and higher
    Counting. Cloud four. Cloud five. Cloud six. Seven. Eight.
    Ah, nine. Weightless perfection. I close my eyes and feel
    The breeze of midnight and the heat of the moment. Then
    As quick as I arose from the earth suddenly comes
    The time when the clock strikes, the rings and dings like lead
    Weights attached to my hips as Iím pulled back down on
    Solid ground. Back to reality. Ah well,
    Thereís always tomorrow.

    Submitted on 2012-08-03 21:45:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this one and the flow is really great. I don't see any flaws in it. I imagine myself daydreaming and puting my thoughts on paper which I haven't done for a while now.

    Good job
    | Posted on 2012-08-26 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Push written by JanePlane
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]