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    dots Submission Name: Leavingdots

    Author: Jessica Lynn
    ASL Info:    22/f/mn
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 121/119/57
    Words: 581
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 581
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3354

       A rough draft. Trying to get out some feelings...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    How do I start this?
    How do I finish?
    How to explain?
    How to diminish
    These feelings that haunt me
    When I search for the moon?
    I wonder if I can,
    and fear it wonít be soon.
    I want to be happy.
    I want to fly free,
    Like the crows in the sky
    As they call down to me.
    I need to breathe clearly,
    To stand in the light.
    To feel the love of the earth,
    I do not want to fight.
    I donít want to hurt.
    I donít want to cry.
    If I do this much longer,
    I fear my spirit will die.
    I donít want the guilt.
    I canít stand the anger.
    I need to look at my reflection
    And not see a stranger.
    I have many years before me.
    I have too much to do.
    I donít think I can,
    when Iím so focused on you.
    On what you need from me,
    On how Iím supposed to behave.
    How can I compromise
    When heart soars in the rain?
    I donít want the drama,
    To cause anyone pain.
    Is it even possible
    To do this and stay sane?
    I want the world in my hand,
    To give it away-
    And with it you wonít need
    To hold me close this way.
    If I had known what was coming
    I would not have come near-
    But now it is ending
    And Iím filled with dread-like fear.
    Itís been so long since Iíve stood
    Without you holding me up.
    My legs are so weak,
    and Iím afraid to drop.
    I donít want you to catch me,
    I want to fall on my own.
    I must rise by myself,
    To face this alone.
    I want you to love me,
    Without being possessed.
    I want you to accept this,
    To care to ease my stress
    As I have done so often
    In the past for you.
    To look to good times
    When itís the bad youíre going through.
    I know you donít want me,
    Not the way I want to be.
    Iím so young and Iíve changed,
    I just want you to see.
    My personalities have switched,
    Though the one you love still there-
    The others want their freedom,
    And itís stronger than itís fair.
    I could go on forever with this poem of mine.
    I could try to explain in quaint little rhymes
    All my sorrows for this message
    And my fear I will regret,
    But I already feel this pain
    And I will not forget
    If I go back to where it started,
    To your arms, to the past.
    Too much has happened
    And it wonít heal so fast.
    Time is what I need,
    And time is what you fear.
    I need to do whatís best for me.
    In turn, Iím staying here.
    Iíll advocate your cause,
    Try to send legions your way.
    But I fear it will be the death of me,
    I fear if I go I will stay.
    I cannot do this to myself.
    My wounds run far too deep.
    It hurts to stay awake and
    At night it hurts to sleep.
    I hope you learn to love yourself,
    To evolve to something better.
    I hope you find what you search for,
    And when you read this letter,
    I hope you find peace in awe
    And can give your heart a rest.
    You will not need to worry about me,
    For I am not your destiny.

    Submitted on 2012-08-04 01:38:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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