[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Him and His Plantsdots

    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 307
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1553

       I'll miss him

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHim and His Plantsdots

    He cracked his eyes open
    At the first signs of dawn
    The time he usually begins the day
    He quietly stifled a yawn

    As he crept out of bed,
    Carefully not to disturb his wife.
    He put on his work pants and heads outside,
    To visit the other love of his life.

    He followed a trail to the back of the house,
    Stepping on old stone slates,
    He unlatched a small, make-shift lock,
    And swiftly opened the gate.

    He smiled as he saw his garden,
    As if it was the first time,
    He inhaled the wonderful earthy scents,
    The basil, rosemary, and lime.

    He ignored the tingling in his arm,
    As he reached for the watering can.
    He stumbled a bit and his vision blurred.
    He suspected it was symptoms of an old man.

    He tried to stand but he couldn’t
    It was just too much,
    He backed up to the side of the house,
    He doubled over and clutched

    His chest with his numb hand,
    The other hand held on an oak.
    He slid down the fading brick wall.
    He realized he was having a stroke.

    He cried out loud but no one heard him,
    It was just him and his plants.
    He spent his last moments savoring their beauty,
    It was his last chance.

    He slowly drifted away,
    Among the beloved herbs and trees.
    I hate the fact that he passed away, but
    At least it was in the place he loved to be.

    Submitted on 2012-08-05 08:36:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is beautiful and sad..i can really feel it..i have nothing more to say..wonderful!
    | Posted on 2012-08-29 00:00:00 | by irrelevantme | [ Reply to This ]
      A lovely retelling. I could see the smile as he entered the garden.. Much the same feeling i get. Thank you.
    | Posted on 2012-08-07 00:00:00 | by KeeperOfLight | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Push written by JanePlane
    Wavelength written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Incubus written by monad
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Giving written by jjd




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]