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    dots Submission Name: After the Sunday Documentarydots

    Author: Dead Bell
    ASL Info:    23/m/Ire
    Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 48/129/125
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 968


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    dotsAfter the Sunday Documentarydots

    The sloth swung smiling into the grey hawks nest
    Its baby limbs were slack and waving
    For the hungry chick and tempered wife
    Who would not let the hunter rest .

    And both our hearts were torn away
    When its twisting body was hurling
    Into its helpless end; all our eyes upturning
    From our indignation.

    I always explain the necessity of each witnessed death.
    But why, when they dream of marriage, are we suffused
    To that ultimate oblivion?
    Why is my future married to death?

    I know, if I had of returned to look in mid-air,
    That sloth had no sense of its own pain,
    Was not receptive to its end.

    He did not endure like a dying prisoner
    That descent into the ailing bed
    Of little chick and mother hawk
    To relieve them of their hungry tension
    No afterlife for baby sloth; no mystified ascension

    Submitted on 2012-08-06 15:42:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting exploration, a lot of questions raised with this poem.

    I like the alliteration of your first line and the way you start with quite a different atmosphere then you finish with- with a smiling sloth who has no idea what is around the next bending moment. It is full of life, that first line.

    I also like the authoritative tone that you use in the poem. I don't necessarily agree with all that's said here, but that tone lends gravity to the words making me feel I must consider them all fairly, putting my own preconceptions aside.

    I love this line, and all that it raises in terms of thoughts and questions about the human condition, which does ultimately end the same way for us all:

    Why is my future married to death?

    Very good, thought-provoking poetry.
    | Posted on 2012-08-07 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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