[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Princessdots

    Author: BiancaEls
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 1/3/3
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Trapped
    Total Views: 409
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 691

       a kingdom drowned and a princess found

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


     We are a kingdom born to unite and see the light
    with our strengh we are power
    and we shall be ontop of that tower
    let my dreams come to reality and save our minds
    from disiving
    make belive of whaat is real
    and with ur hand u must feel
    making a hometown is clairy
    but mind ur own fairy
    and seeing the light as bright it might be in sight
    helping those who forgave and hasnt yet forgivin
    doom isnt as bright as the moon
    mind of an alien is dumber than a plain
    u may suffer if u gain my trust u wont save

    Submitted on 2012-08-11 15:30:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Some parts of the poem is a bit confusing so perhaps you can explain a bit more about the actual message you're trying to get across. Other than that there are some strong images that speak to the reader - almost as if you are building a fairy tale or a story for the reader. Also, be careful of spelling mistakes as it distracts the reader from the words. Not bad for someone who has just joined the site. Keep writing… :)
    | Posted on 2012-08-11 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Fasade written by jackz
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]