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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Princessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BiancaEls
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 1/3/3
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Trapped
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 691



    Description:
       a kingdom drowned and a princess found


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrincessdots
    -------------------------------------------


     We are a kingdom born to unite and see the light
    with our strengh we are power
    and we shall be ontop of that tower
    let my dreams come to reality and save our minds
    from disiving
    make belive of whaat is real
    and with ur hand u must feel
    making a hometown is clairy
    but mind ur own fairy
    and seeing the light as bright it might be in sight
    helping those who forgave and hasnt yet forgivin
    doom isnt as bright as the moon
    mind of an alien is dumber than a plain
    u may suffer if u gain my trust u wont save




    Submitted on 2012-08-11 15:30:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Some parts of the poem is a bit confusing so perhaps you can explain a bit more about the actual message you're trying to get across. Other than that there are some strong images that speak to the reader - almost as if you are building a fairy tale or a story for the reader. Also, be careful of spelling mistakes as it distracts the reader from the words. Not bad for someone who has just joined the site. Keep writing… :)
    | Posted on 2012-08-11 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


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