Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Princessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BiancaEls
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 1/3/3
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Trapped
    Total Views: 383
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 691



    Description:
       a kingdom drowned and a princess found


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrincessdots
    -------------------------------------------


     We are a kingdom born to unite and see the light
    with our strengh we are power
    and we shall be ontop of that tower
    let my dreams come to reality and save our minds
    from disiving
    make belive of whaat is real
    and with ur hand u must feel
    making a hometown is clairy
    but mind ur own fairy
    and seeing the light as bright it might be in sight
    helping those who forgave and hasnt yet forgivin
    doom isnt as bright as the moon
    mind of an alien is dumber than a plain
    u may suffer if u gain my trust u wont save




    Submitted on 2012-08-11 15:30:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Some parts of the poem is a bit confusing so perhaps you can explain a bit more about the actual message you're trying to get across. Other than that there are some strong images that speak to the reader - almost as if you are building a fairy tale or a story for the reader. Also, be careful of spelling mistakes as it distracts the reader from the words. Not bad for someone who has just joined the site. Keep writing… :)
    | Posted on 2012-08-11 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195716

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry