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    dots Submission Name: Reflections in Bluedots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 378
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 715


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    dotsReflections in Bluedots

    She sits
    With face aglow
    In the mercurial light
    Of the radiant rain
    And another Angel falls

    Her roses are covered with rust
    Her brass pole
    is tarnished and green

    This belies nothing

    There is perfection in primary form
    Grace in rounded curve
    Moxie in verve

    This times the light of fourhundredbillion
    Stars blazing bright
    Is but a candle against endless night

    And with the morning
    Came blue eyes drenching
    A land without shadow

    Submitted on 2012-08-11 19:02:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      great paradox at the end...blue eyes drenching...a blue sky is clear...not cloudy, but her blue eyes are cloudy and raining tears...


    | Posted on 2012-08-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like how the words and image play off of each other- amplifying one another.

    I also quite like the way you've used enjambment, particularly in the first and last stanzas.

    And with the morning
    Came blue eyes drenching
    A land without shadow

    This part is lovely in its mystery and the dangle of drenching is wonderful.
    | Posted on 2012-08-11 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      What an intriguing image!
    Whether it inspired the words, or the words sought out the image, I cant tell. And dont much care. They seem to belong together, regardless.

    I dont like the blue eyes at the end...I dont think they're the same eyes moonlit in the image...the blue eyes at the end are exacting and dangerous somehow...
    Clint Eastwood eyes.

    "This times the light of fourhundredbillion
    Stars blazing bright
    Is but a candle against endless night"

    This was my favorite passage. Mashing the number words fits perfectly, since numbers that large get mushy in the brain sometimes.

    Thanks for an interesting read, and a fascinating image to contemplate.

    | Posted on 2012-08-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]

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