Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You are my air...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Archer
    ASL Info:    17/female/Oregon
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 118/148/53
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 516
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1117



    Description:
       i wrote this for someone, he'll probably never see it but i wrote it for him anyway, its not the best flow and it might be a song, but i don't have the guts to ask "him" to help me make it so.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou are my air...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Breath in...breath out... breath air...
    Lost within my self , you were so unfair.
    Wandering away, in to nothing
    the air constricts... keeping me at bay
    how did I never see, you pushing me away...


    breath... breath air,
    so cold and silent though I still see you there.
    My tears they strangle,
    But I still breath you,
    your still my air...


    so...break me! Break me down!
    Draw me into your world, pull me to the ground.
    I've forsaken, my heart and i'm numb
    show me the feelings that made me live!

    Suffocating, in your silence,
    I can't breath with out you here!
    I'm losing my mind, and running out of time,
    the end is here, so just breath.

    Breath for me i'll live again,
    Live for me, i'll trust in you!
    Fall again my heart survives,
    remind me again that i'm alive!

    You were my air, the fire in my blood, how cold i've become with out you.




    Submitted on 2012-08-13 21:03:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195748

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Love written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry