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    dots Submission Name: Reverbdots

    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 768
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1242


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Youíre looking up at the sky,

    numerous thoughts always forthcoming,

    the gentle wind is caressing your bodice.

    Your favorite thing is the wind when it brings in the sweet scent of the nearby lake.

    It tells your thoughts to become gentle nudges as you sit upon the velvet grass.

    Looking back up to the horizon you see the feathered wings of many pass briskly by on the clouded sky. The count has begun, but only until you realize that a murder which is counted is not worth the time. The crows are up high, and below, reflected on the silver coated water.

    The clouds move slow,

    your eyes take them in,

    the whimsical shapes perpetrated by the still oncoming black wings,

    the voice of them reverberating like spears in your ears,

    the wind is tranquil on your skin.

    If this murder wasnít here, you would find your peace in the wind.

    However, like the spears of crow-sounds, your thoughts come back, no longer turned gently away, they surface one by one, the grass is now sharp to touch, two by two, the spears plunge deeper, until you realize itís not worth the time.

    Submitted on 2012-08-21 23:30:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can almost see clearly the picture you're trying to paint here..this is a great poem and I'm glad I stopped to read this one. but there's something a little off in this line "the voice of them reverberating like spears in your ears,"
    I'm not quite sure really, forgive me I'm not really good at giving and correcting criticisms myself..
    Thank you for sharing this one.
    | Posted on 2012-08-23 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]

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