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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: hate volume twodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: murf
    ASL Info:    29/m/boston
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 97/135/45
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 411
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 593



    Description:
       Is this just to vent? Ya think?



    Emotional state while writing? ummmmm...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshate volume twodots
    -------------------------------------------


    i just can't
    convey that image;

    driving by a group of students
    learning karate
    through the gentle
    halo of a spring afternoon

    i can't extol
    the qualities of a good friend
    or a good beer

    it's way too contrived

    i just can't express
    all that emotional nicety

    it's not that i don't see it
    it's just that,

    whenever i pick up a pen
    all i wish to express
    is just how much
    i want to smash all of you




    Submitted on 2004-08-02 18:18:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      OMG, please dont' smash me. Sounds like alot of traffic, maybe noise too. Mental and magnets came to mind too, while reading your venting. Maybe the damn thing ran me over...wow, interesting venting...
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh. I like it alot. Reading it again has me laughing. The whole writer frusteration of not being able to put a good image on paper is a common one. I really loved the ending. It's just so amusing. Good job, my first favorite!
    reid kat
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by reid kat | [ Reply to This ]
      lol.....hey! what a coincidence! we hate everyone! that surprise ending kicked ass! umm, yeah, there's nothing you could do to really improve it.
    | Posted on 2004-08-22 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]



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