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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Roomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: melancholystar
    ASL Info:    17/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    4.53 - 598/302/32
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Depressed
    Total Views: 501
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 359



    Description:
       I'm not quite sure why I wrote this. After reading over what I had written, I decided that it sounded either like a person that was moving to a new house or someone that may commit suicide. Anyways... post any comments.


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    dotsThe Roomdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I walked into the room and shut the blinds for the last time. I knew I wouldn’t be back. I slowly moved about the room touching every item inside. Each object sparked a memory of an earlier moment in my life. After I finished my rounds I lied down on the bed for the last time, stared up at the revolving fan, and very gradually let the tears come to my eyes.




    Submitted on 2004-08-02 18:39:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This did in fact make me think of suicide or moving. I love writings that have many different meanings. And although it was a little sad, and short, I still liked it.

    Piper
    | Posted on 2006-07-06 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      okay when i read this which i had to do over and over i dont picture death, moving, or any of the following. i dont even picture a room. when i read this i picture somebody who screwed up in life and finally realized it and was now turning away from it all to restart a new life. someone who basically changes their identity. for they depised who they were inside and what they were doing in life. i guess its because im going through that at the moment. trying to go back to the old me... before drugs and all. anyways back to the writing... then where it says at the end where they are crying they arent crying because they are sad to leave the old habits behind but the fact that they realized how they messed up and they are happy for changing. well anyways thats what i get when reading this. good write.
    Jessi~
    | Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ]
      I saw an old man who realizes he will die. He has led a good life, has no reason to fight death, and so he recalls all the things he's lived. And then I saw the tears he cried as tears of joy as he understands that he's going home.
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by Dark_Dancer | [ Reply to This ]
      well, to me didn't sound like moving or suicide. Allow me to tell you why.. you said in the beginning "I knew I wouldn't be back" that means your leaving that specific place. Where in suicide you simply parish. Now it didn't sound like moving because you said its your last night there, you wouldn't be back yet everything is still there. The objects, the blinds, the bed. When you move the day b4 usually those things are packed or gone.. unless you sold the house with everything in it. hehehe the impression I got is you were going somewhere, to do something, and you knew you were going to die yet you just had to go. I dont know..the mind is wonderful...works in many different ways...as yours did while reading this from mine! Nice little thought though..

    Bruno

    I just realized...both our names start with Br..and are 5 letters. I think its a sign...hehehe I wish. talk to you later Brooke
    | Posted on 2004-08-18 00:00:00 | by brunov68 | [ Reply to This ]
      the scary thing about this is that it seems to be my daily life. sad but true, everything that i own has some meaning tied to it. from a banner a friend of mine made for my birthday to the watch i wear today. my watch...
    congrats, you've found your way to my fav list
    again
    | Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by hybridmagnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this piece. I can see a lot of different view points and such, it could mean a lot of things. I like that in a poem, not having just one meaning, so it can kind of mean something different to everyone who reads it. This was good.
    Forgotten
    Darin
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it alot. One thing lied in first line should be lay. Sounds odd I know but it's the grammatical way. I love how you put alot of detail into. It's really good.
    reid kat
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by reid kat | [ Reply to This ]
      I will agree with you that it is hard to distinguish rather it's suicidal or simply a longing for what one is leaving behind. It's short which left me sort of wanting to know the rest. Yet, I believe it was the mystery that makes it intriguing. I can picture what you were seeing which, in my opinion, is quite an accomplishment for such a short piece. 'Tis very good.
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by Avez Termine | [ Reply to This ]
      well. i deffinaly agree with bruno. although it dose seem more like asuiside. but you never specified how. and that wasn't such a good thing. you should have some lines that tell how you were dieing or specifying what was really happeneing. but it isn't bad.
    ~Shadow
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]



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