[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Green Eyesdots

    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 348
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 538

       Thanks Jen for the corrections :D

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGreen Eyesdots

    I look in those green eyes
    And it's like those irises
    Sprout leafy vines
    That snake around my
    Wrists and waist
    That draw me in
    I'm mesmerized
    By those eyes
    That supply a high
    Dose of intrigue
    And wonder
    I ponder
    If eyes are a
    Doorway to the soul
    Does yours play some kind of
    Role or have a hidden goal?
    Because although vibrant green eyes
    Hypnotize, a green soul is where
    Hate and fear lies.

    Submitted on 2012-08-28 00:03:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the beginning of this. The vine leaf metaphor is perfect to describe the gold and brown that green eyes have sprinkled just around the pupil. I have green eyes myself but I noticed that because of this sometimes in certain light they look more like blue or sometimes like cold steel gray. Don't like the ending though!!! Not at all! Green is the color of spring, of youth, of new life, it has nothing to do with fear and hatred. I know that in your culture green is associated with envy but wrongfully so, in my opinion, like yellow is associated with cowardice. Yellow has nothing to do with cowardice, our sun is yellow, everything we see all the time is brought to us by yellow light, are we a race of cowards?!? And green! Everything around us was green at one point, nature itself is more green than anything else. Does that mean that the plants envy us? If they would be able to feel anything at all it would be quite the contrary I believe...
    | Posted on 2012-09-15 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this but there are errors you didn't noticed like the word "mesmorized","the draw me in" should be mesmerized and that draw me in repectively I guess. I have read some of your poems and I'm a fan.

    | Posted on 2012-08-28 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]