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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Green Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 342
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 538



    Description:
       Thanks Jen for the corrections :D


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGreen Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look in those green eyes
    And it's like those irises
    Sprout leafy vines
    That snake around my
    Wrists and waist
    That draw me in
    I'm mesmerized
    By those eyes
    That supply a high
    Dose of intrigue
    And wonder
    I ponder
    If eyes are a
    Doorway to the soul
    Does yours play some kind of
    Role or have a hidden goal?
    Because although vibrant green eyes
    Hypnotize, a green soul is where
    Hate and fear lies.




    Submitted on 2012-08-28 00:03:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the beginning of this. The vine leaf metaphor is perfect to describe the gold and brown that green eyes have sprinkled just around the pupil. I have green eyes myself but I noticed that because of this sometimes in certain light they look more like blue or sometimes like cold steel gray. Don't like the ending though!!! Not at all! Green is the color of spring, of youth, of new life, it has nothing to do with fear and hatred. I know that in your culture green is associated with envy but wrongfully so, in my opinion, like yellow is associated with cowardice. Yellow has nothing to do with cowardice, our sun is yellow, everything we see all the time is brought to us by yellow light, are we a race of cowards?!? And green! Everything around us was green at one point, nature itself is more green than anything else. Does that mean that the plants envy us? If they would be able to feel anything at all it would be quite the contrary I believe...
    | Posted on 2012-09-15 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this but there are errors you didn't noticed like the word "mesmorized","the draw me in" should be mesmerized and that draw me in repectively I guess. I have read some of your poems and I'm a fan.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-08-28 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


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