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YESTERDAYS YOU


Author: trynfinity
ASL Info:    38/f/California
Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 149 /145 /91
Words: 110
Class/Type: Misc /Lostfriend
Total Views: 1193
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 746



Description:


What happened to yesterday
When we were in love?


YESTERDAYS YOU



What happened to yesterday
When we were in love?
When life was so much easier
We didn't fight, yell and shove.

What happened to the friend
Who captured my heart?
Who once made me belive
The world wasn't all dark.

What happened to the passion
I once felt in your touch?
The burning desire
I now miss it so much.

Have our todays now robbed us
of that passion once had?
Oh, my friend my lover..
I miss us so bad!

What ever happened
To the yesterdays we knew?
Have my todays and tomorrows
robbed me of my yesterdays you?

Heather Kemper
August 30th,2012




Submitted on 2012-09-01 02:50:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  :( i can feel this so badly my friend.
i really enjoyed this because its almost sitting u would write on a card... or note and pass it to someone.... its original. has a texture tooo it. when i read it it doesn't feel extra mushy.."just "look. thiss is how you made me feel. this is how u make me feel. "....its pure. simple and its a mark i think alot of writers miss
| Posted on 2012-09-19 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with the previous comment. I like your play on words. I also like how your poem resonates with thoughts of lovers past. It reminds me of the idea that you tend to be in love with the idea of a person as they were and not who they are now. The idea of a person is much harder to erase. Its deep rooted in our mind and hearts. Your poem is very lovely and very universal. I really enjoyed it.

Thank you.
| Posted on 2012-09-04 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the slant rhyme of "heart" and "dark" in the second stanza...

the title should be "Yesterday's You" maybe?
and in last line "yesterday's"

i would like to see more play on words, imagery, less straightforwardness in this...

jazz it up a bit...but the message could still come across...
maybe play with the "robbed" theme more

this is hearfelt, no doubt about it---

and the rhythm works to match the slow beating of the lonely heart...

anyway,

just thoughts

jacob
| Posted on 2012-09-01 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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