Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Exitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 624
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 320



    Description:
       Just came from a small market and I got lost on the way back to the dormitory then wrote this.
    All about him again..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsExitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Holding hands,

    Candy wrappers
    Paper cuts
    Thrown bottles
    We keep stepping on

    Damp streets
    Narrow alleys
    Some overpass
    We keep passing by

    There was no u-turn
    No parking, no stopping
    Our hands, shiver
    Then a release




    Submitted on 2012-09-02 05:01:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      No u-turn and no signs to point
    the path to salvation this is
    the way it is when you are lost.

    To me this is the Devils playground
    where I am routinely tormented.

    I am impressed by how well and
    often you can translate your environment
    with your pen. It is telling that you start
    out holding hands yet in the end this
    no longer seems to be so.

    | Posted on 2012-09-29 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this one really moved me...is see two lovers who are street people with no where to go now...they may have had material things at one time and lost everything...all they have now is each other...and each other's hand to hold.
    no stopping, no u-turn , no getting that life back...

    and perhaps they plan on committing suicide together....just walking off the earth, holding hands...leaving the damp streets, once and for all...
    this has power...

    the overpass we pass by...like life has passed us.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-09-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195897

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Love written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry