Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stay of Aspdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 374
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1101



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStay of Aspdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Those gorgeous horizons where
    the sun leaps like a salmon into
    a burning sea.
    Recall you to me.

    Now in these final days of my dying rut
    You have inspired a new vigor to blood
    the bull

    I have willed myself to look away from
    your soaring form yet
    My eyes will not obey

    A darling of danger you are a Bugatti
    In my Barona.

    Yet even drunken with love unto the asp
    You mange to taunt just beyond my grasp

    O my treacherous amour your bosom
    Blooms on brambles yet this only fans
    Ardour

    From couture shop and public fountain to
    urbane subdued lawns I seek thee

    Ney even into black forest grim's
    rack and rumble of ravine
    you are pursued

    I rally to havoc's cry
    For the hunt is joined
    And this tale called our love
    Shall surely be immortalized

    If not in arsenic and tears
    Then through longevity of years







    Submitted on 2012-09-08 04:27:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice to know you still believe in love. I take it back, apparently we don't have to wind up skewering ourselves just because our unbridled passions resemble chaotic vehemence. I can get to that. Well put. My favorite line has got to be "Yet even drunken with love unto the asp....You mange to taunt just beyond my grasp".

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2012-10-07 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195938

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    This written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry