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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Favorite Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: metallichick786
    ASL Info:    32/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 78/85/52
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 608
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1465



    Description:
       A song I wrote


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFavorite Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I pray one day I can hear your name, without my heart...sinking beneath me.
    To feel a touch and pretend she's you, to hear a voice and fantasize your tune.
    I'm completely lost, my feet have left ground.

    chorus: I wish that I could see you without dying inside.
    Falling apart with all your smiles, hoping I can one day find meaning, without it always being... your identity.

    Because when with you, my head soared high, but to you I was just a game.
    And holding you was something precious, and loving you I was entirely selfless.

    chorus: I pray one day, I can hear your name... without going completely insane. To feel her touch without wishing she was you, to hear her voice and not fantasize your tune.
    I'm completely lost... my feet have... left the ground.

    But I see it now, it's all too clear, I was drawing lines in sand with my tears.... there was nothing real ... ever there
    I was a game.... I was played without care.

    Making myself so vulnerable to you
    reminded me why I keep my heart so cold
    and not to share that which is within me
    In result I've become... insanity

    I wish that I could think of.... you
    falling apart silently... with every smile
    No matter where I try to... hide, no matter how far
    I'm always so lost... within you
    within you




    Submitted on 2012-09-11 13:54:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it 2.
    | Posted on 2012-09-19 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this, this is good. The chorus was just great, there's so much inspiration in this one.

    Good job!
    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-14 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    195964

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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