Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Masks; under constructiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: irrelevantme
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 83/89/62
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 431
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 235



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMasks; under constructiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dancing upon edges of a broken window
    Seeing through the smoke
    Silhouttes of undiscovered dreams
    Born and hid, layer by layer

    Upon the fear and doubt
    I choke
    Covered with falling debris




    Submitted on 2012-09-12 02:28:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Dancing upon edges of a broken window
    Seeing through the smoke
    Silhouettes of undiscovered dreams
    Born and hid, layer by layer

    Upon the fear and doubt
    I choke
    Covered with falling debris
    Debris that now serves only
    As a marker
    A remembrance of some dim life
    I no longer know

    The blister of years long burst
    Behind me
    O those glory years
    Of my wild youth defiled

    Some dim life I no longer
    Know yet vaguely I half-remember
    Hoar-frost in autumn
    And sharp blue crystal sky

    There was a women I will
    Never forget Her
    Now were Her eyes blue or green
    | Posted on 2012-09-15 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    195969

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry