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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Herbstdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 137/244/159
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 525



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHerbstdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit at the bus stop
    Peering through crystal frames
    Of the opera, try to catch the first breath
    Of the teetering poems abandoned by mistake.
    What is there in a name? : impossibility that rushes
    through the autumn air, and sheds the signs, and gasps,
    and unforgotten tilt of head upon a shoulder, two pairs of feet
    that shuffle leaves under a fake indigo ceiling; a single tear luminous
    behind the window glass, my own and lone reflection to the midnight sky.




    Submitted on 2012-09-15 14:18:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I feel like this is a lament- its so full of loneliness and moments when we might have grasped something but just missed the chance.

    I like that it includes so many little flashes of moments working its way through the scenes of a relationship and how we might remember those times when we felt like we'd found a place.

    Great mood running through the lines, and I really love escapes dined poem bit- quite relatable but works great metaphorically also.
    | Posted on 2012-09-17 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this a lot! It looks like something I would write. I've used this exact format with the growing lines also a few times. I'm glad to see someone else use it like this. I can also totally relate to the feelings here. There is something very odd about bus stops, especially in autumn light, you managed to capture that perfectly here. Good work!
    | Posted on 2012-09-16 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      All the world is but a stage and
    in autumn how brisk become the players.
    Aye Yorick I knew her well. I was there
    at the end you know. We thought it just
    a touch of fever.
    Therefore you can plainly see
    that her expiring came
    as quite the shock!!
    Then when arsenic was discovered!
    It became a case of skullduggery and
    now of course the game’s afoot?

    | Posted on 2012-09-15 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      i got that "singing in the rain" feeling from this...but with a much more somber mood...not a happy dancing, but a sad shuffle of lonliness...

    operas are so often tragic...beautiful singing but usually by the hero or heroine who is lamenting a lost love one.

    this gave me that feeling.

    should it be "an unforgotten" ?

    moody moody moody...but in a good way..rushing through autumn toward winter...

    i want it to be cold, because i feel cold, very cold.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-09-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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