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    dots Submission Name: Famisheddots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 631/554/330
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 993


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    What is this
    A feast of inebriating wine and exotic fruit
    Has flown before a storm and shipwrecked
    Before my Crusoe famished eyes
    And I a mendicant with only words
    To use for coin.
    I inhale the incensed air and grow
    Giddy anticipating the flavor of

    Fancy eyes of secret opal flame
    Have me tangled in muse struck wonder
    And what is there in that smile
    Would it look as sweet on other lips
    Certainly I could spend every night
    Entrancing you with whispered nothings
    By flickered candlelight

    But more-so I long to crush your cries
    mouth to mouth
    To feel the pinkness of those
    Pouty lips is more than any man
    Whether possessed of sand or
    Made of iron could nay resist

    To taste this feast before me
    May mean my end
    Should I live I will only live
    Do it

    Submitted on 2012-09-16 17:12:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The ghost of Avon's Bard indeed kneeled beside your composing huddled form with visage nodding a proud approval of this, your common captured form of word magic.
    | Posted on 2012-09-19 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Dale I love this one so much, like I want to have a copy of this is print to read it again and again. "And what is there in that smile"- so lovely, there something in there, quite a mystery that blew us away.
    And in here, "made of iron could nay resist"- ultimate submission, drowning to someone.
    ..the ending was perfect.

    | Posted on 2012-09-17 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      Your great Dale, I love it. The queen bee, replete with ambrosia and forbidden fruit, has shipwrecked on your shore. I love the fanatical glint in your "Caruso famished eyes". But with only words how can I convince you I deserve a taste. "Tangled in muse struck wonder" what a line, and "Entrancing you with whispered nothings
    By flickered candlelight" brings to mind all those romantic dalliances I so often dream up while having those late night lonely elucubrations. Your desire to hold her down and kiss her into submission, as the pressing ardor of your argent affections overwhelms you. Then, like a mantis, you vow your passion's intensity will only be extinguished by death and hope she will accept your arduous advances further instead of your incurring rejections consequences. Seriously Dale I like this one so bad. Here I am worrying about the astral projections of my octopus attitudes and your headlong into seduction with devil may care conviction.

    | Posted on 2012-09-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the subtle naughtiness throughout this. I also love the ending. Depending on the reader it could come across in a loving way, as with one taste and I'm lost in you for forever.. Or, which I must say is My way of thinking, moth meets flame. And of course the moth will do it again, for what is a moth without its flame, and a flame without its moth. It would be like Tom without his Jerry.

    I also enjoyed:
    I inhaled the incensed air and grow
    Giddy anticipating the flavor of

    There's nothing quite like the scent of someone to make your heart crave, skip a beat or two, melt, and jump into your throat at the same time.

    | Posted on 2012-09-16 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]

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