Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: dry riverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 666
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 505



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdry riverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's been too long,
    sitting here,
    like some bottled water
    sealed,
    and envies the river
    feeling the weight of,
    inadequacy on my palm
    yet never wanting,
    this space to fill itself
    the impulse of containing,
    this residual time
    speaks the concept of,
    a lady,
    Her intangibility to him
    and inability to become herself

    It's been too long,
    waiting here,
    the outflow of infinity




    Submitted on 2012-09-17 00:22:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That part with the bottle
    that is just genius. The concept
    of a Lady? There are many, mine
    is simple. If a women respects herself
    she is a Lady.

    I find myself transported maybe
    teleported or Alice through the looking
    glass yes that last one. About two thirds
    through this one reality disappears for me.
    I am then lost in the outflow of infinity.
    Since you seem to know your way around
    think you could look around and if
    you see me please point the way back?
    | Posted on 2012-09-22 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      wow I really love your writing style
    | Posted on 2012-09-18 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      when the bottle is finally opened, the wanting and needing will pour out.

    i really like "the impulse of containing"
    "her intangibility to him"
    and "the inability to be herself"

    all these emotions and actions being bottled up, contained, held back....

    the poem extenuates those feelings so well in its imagery...and it makes the reader feel the tension that wants to release itself.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-09-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196005

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fasade written by jackz
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry