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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: dry riverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 505



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdry riverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's been too long,
    sitting here,
    like some bottled water
    sealed,
    and envies the river
    feeling the weight of,
    inadequacy on my palm
    yet never wanting,
    this space to fill itself
    the impulse of containing,
    this residual time
    speaks the concept of,
    a lady,
    Her intangibility to him
    and inability to become herself

    It's been too long,
    waiting here,
    the outflow of infinity




    Submitted on 2012-09-17 00:22:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That part with the bottle
    that is just genius. The concept
    of a Lady? There are many, mine
    is simple. If a women respects herself
    she is a Lady.

    I find myself transported maybe
    teleported or Alice through the looking
    glass yes that last one. About two thirds
    through this one reality disappears for me.
    I am then lost in the outflow of infinity.
    Since you seem to know your way around
    think you could look around and if
    you see me please point the way back?
    | Posted on 2012-09-22 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      wow I really love your writing style
    | Posted on 2012-09-18 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      when the bottle is finally opened, the wanting and needing will pour out.

    i really like "the impulse of containing"
    "her intangibility to him"
    and "the inability to be herself"

    all these emotions and actions being bottled up, contained, held back....

    the poem extenuates those feelings so well in its imagery...and it makes the reader feel the tension that wants to release itself.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-09-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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