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Author: tjsmith5
ASL Info:    28/m/MS
Elite Ratio:    5.49 - 109 /231 /124
Words: 119
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 882
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 782



Juggling is made better
as is gumbo
and the guitar
by time, discipline
and troubleshooting
as long as you’re dealt
a card or two of talent.

But poetry…

The more I read
the longer it take me to write
and I see patterns in my poems
and hate them.

Damn it, this is poetry
not instant pudding.

The best thing about it
is that it lives longer than most everything
but it’s price
is that the wide open sky
that it is
must stay open

and the doubts I never had
come now like
black clouds at noon
and storm
with hateful rain.

Jackson, MS – 9/18/12

Submitted on 2012-09-18 14:52:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i think the "doubts [you] never had" are good. they are a sign that these writings are improving with age (much like the gumbo). in the infancy of your writing, you didn't know enough to "doubt". i know they seem like "black clouds", but rather, look at them for the cleansing rain that they may bring. i don't see it as "hateful"....i see it as "helpful"....

nice write

| Posted on 2012-09-19 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
  we get to used to our own writing and it starts to feel stale..we are our own worst critics.

sometimes i want to take all my stuff, put it in a pile and burn it.

we certainly do get doubts.

other times i shake my head and say...mmmm, maybe.

but yes, the patterns we want to break out of.

but our voice is our voice...and what we write about best, and how we write our own stuff's what it is.

i related here...well done piece...

a couple trippy spots.

"the more I read/ the longer it takes me to write"

and the one line needs to be "but its price"

but really a good write that most of us can relate to...

we are just too close to what we write, too familiar.

| Posted on 2012-09-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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