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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Battledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Serious
    Total Views: 571
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1282



    Description:
       Ahhh... I can never erase what I know I can never take back what I have done I can never change my past ... Knowing this.. may just be the end of me ... It may begin an unraveling that no one could have ever foreseen. It may be a domino affect that simply cannot be contained at at that point. I will soon meet my maker.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBattledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Day in and day out
    I fight not to go find a happy pill
    I push through my emotional baggage
    I cut through the scar tissue that engulfs my heart

    I fight to survive a battle I never wanted to attempt
    I struggle to live … even if for just one more day
    A revolving door
    A never-ending cycle

    It seems as if my own mind will eventually lead me to the inevitable end.
    Mental games it plays
    Nights are my enemy
    Lying in bed with nothing but thoughts

    Reliving my tragedies that have shaped me for the past 24 years of my life
    Leading up to this…

    A battle that now rages on from within me
    A battle I could have never foreseen

    The natural physical hooks are now out of me, now
    Out of my system
    Withdrawal I experienced several years ago

    Yet, the battle remains
    My mind can never erase the feeling I felt
    The acknowledging of that feeling
    The immediate ease I felt

    The revolving door continues…
    Another night to get through
    Another day to muddle on with
    Another tragedy I will so have to face

    Without My Dear Friend,
    Heroin




    Submitted on 2012-09-24 20:16:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I was wondering what was going on in the beginning till I realized that it was withdrawal effect and living through each day in agony after having to leave an object of desire.

    The second half was much more in command than the first half.

    Perhaps, that was because the first half was hanging as the feeling itself.

    Fighting each day till the feeling is gone and promising the self never to do again each day is the deal !!!

    Cheers,
    AbsolutelyLost
    | Posted on 2012-10-18 00:00:00 | by AbsolutelyLost | [ Reply to This ]
      Concept of revolving door was apt.

    The whole write-up felt like a brilliant intro to a short story.

    A title change could make this write-up more alluring.

    It was captivating till the very last.

    The battle will wage on till you can stop the thoughts in your head...shut the door to the past by hating the "you" that you were in the bygone days. You can do it.
    | Posted on 2012-10-04 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem, but I like the next one even better. Even though they both deal with the same topic, and the demons of our past, I feel the next one is mor personal, and constructed more artistically. You should feature that one instead. They are both fantastic (as always...)! I am very happy that you have made it to a place where you can speak about and address the monkey that clung to your back for SO long. Love ya Babe!

    -Dave
    | Posted on 2012-09-30 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]
      "My mind can never erase the feeling I felt"

    Yet you continue to fight seems to be the underlying principle in this piece, I encourage that. Having faith for something more, for lack of a better word, healthy. Getting the sense that going in these circles is wearing you down.

    Take heart, to quote scripture, there is more.
    To any unhealthy or unprofitable problem, when you want more, one of those days that you circle around you will have grown from dealing with the pain and standing, you will be stronger, and then maybe you will stray from pure reaction and move out slowly or broaden your range.


    | Posted on 2012-09-28 00:00:00 | by BevRead | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the concept of "revolving door" nice imagery it gave to your piece. You might want to change the second line of the first stanza, it was a little bit awkward there.
    I like the powerful lines in this piece and the message too.

    In the end, I hope you will win the battle.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the concept of "revolving door" nice imagery it gave to your piece. You might want to change the second line of the first stanza, it was a little bit awkward there.
    I like the powerful lines in this piece and the message too.

    In the end, I hope you will win the battle.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


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