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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: red lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 797
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 681



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsred lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    streets shred fast, side by side
    shared a strip of you to me.

    Oh words, like horse-drawn chariots,
    a tread of the mind.

    Stars were struck
    lost half of their light
    so as mine.
    tripping,
    a stampede of the heart,
    and I don't mind,
    I will trip,
    and trip
    once more,
    to get back to you.

    Now, stuck in a pedestrian lane,
    pressing those lines,
    a parity of left
    and
    right,
    I am in between intersections,
    impassable,
    I'm reading YOU,
    the light turned green,
    But I didn't go.





    Submitted on 2012-09-29 02:48:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      If only I could have this kind of effect on
    a women. To have words just trip from my
    pen and then trip up her heart. To the point she
    stutter-steps wow! Well this is a lovely
    poem. Sorry about the light.





    | Posted on 2012-09-29 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      "i'm in between intersections..."i'm reading you/ the light turned green/ but i didn't go"


    i can't get you out of my head or my mind...

    as much as i realize we were a short drive...and i can't seem to make a u-turn back to you...

    you dropped me, dropped me off and now i'm walking in the pedestrian lane...about to be run over by memories of you, and regrets that i can't get this damn car in reverse.

    someone is honking...can't walk down the street without a "title"---
    | Posted on 2012-09-29 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196100

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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